You know, it's getting so you can't even wish stomach cancer on some hack without it becoming such a thing. Although, I was pleased to learn that the professional left isn't as upset by my hoping that someone is injected with Mad Cow Disease and deported to the Sudan as you would think they'd be. It's a sign of maturation, methinks.While Boy Kinsella's most recent tirade is amusing beyond words, I'm struck by two things about it: the dishonesty and the politicization of it.
The Shanghai Cowboy has this thing he does where he ties bloggers that he has a hard-on for with the Conservative Party of Canada. It doesn't matter if the connection is completely implausible or in any way based in reality. He's done it to Kathy Shaidle repeatedly and now he's doing it with me. I guess old dogs never do learn new tricks.
The fact is, as I've said repeatedly in this space, that I've never voted for the Harper Conservatives, which is probably more than Warren can say. He never did answer where he parked his vote for the last two cycles and it strikes me as unlikely that he voted for a party that he was suing the head of and launched very public attacks on from his dopey blog.
Interested in my voting history? Okay. Let's go.
1988: Progressive Conservative. 1993: Reform. 1997: Reform. 2000: Progressive Conservative. 2004: Progressive Canadian. 2006: Green. 2008 (By-election): Libertarian. 2008 (General Election): Independent. And if it were up to me, the next Prime Minister of Canada would be Gilles Duceppe, the only one of the party leaders who isn't a complete ballbag and actually seems to believe in something.
That aside, Warren's tactic demonstrates as clearly as anything just how bad he is at whatever it is that he's supposed to do for a living. I'm sure it works if he's narrowcasting to morons, the possibility of which I can't completely disregard but strikes me as unlikely.
Let's assume for just a second that I am a dyed in the wool Tory and a Very Bad Man besides. Exactly how many votes do you think that's going to swing in a given riding? Don't get me wrong, I'd love to think that I'm a Very Important Blogger and can change the Very Course of History, but even I'm not that much of a megalomaniac. However, if you vote based on anything Kinsella or I have to say, you might need the right to vote taken away from you.
Warren's a shill for the Liberals when he's not blowing kisses at Stephen Harper, which he did for two years. When I write about politics, my blog is like Sportscenter for awkward people. There are other significant differences between Boy Warren and I.
One of us accepted contracts from the Worst Government Ever and the other didn't. One of us personally profited from what I'm now told is the ruination of the country at the hands of the "Reformatories" and one of us didn't. Maybe Kinsella can tell you which is which, but I'm pretty sure that you all know who's who. Oddly, he was awfully friendly to the "Reformatories" when he was taking taxpayer money from them.
I'll ask Warren Kinsella directly: How many cheques did you or the company which you head cash from the Conservative government of Canada and for how much? If we're going to discuss "who and what people really are", that seems sort of key. I've said who I've voted for in the last twenty years. You haven't. Why not?
I get about 150 to 200 hits a day. Ms. Shaildle gets thousands, but that doesn't change the fact that no one outside of the blogosphere knows who either of us are. It should also be pointed out that Kinsella himself has repeatedly asserted that blogs don't even have the power to alter something as empty-headed as journalism, let alone sway an election. And I'm inclined to agree with him.
So why tie me to the Tories? To energize the Liberal Party base that shockingly seems to think Warren has any idea what he's talking about? If Stephen Harper hasn't already done that, the Liberals are screwed in ways that I can't find the words to explain. Of course, Chinatown can't really point that out, having written two years worth of public love letters to the very same Mr. Harper.
If you need me to motivate your voters to, y'know, vote, you're well and truly fucked. Saying that I have anything at all to do with the CPC is a lot like saying that Kinsella was a "central figure" in the Sponsorship Scandal. Neither statement is true, but there's a Royal Inquiry report that mentions Warren's name more than a few times and financial disclosure forms showing him or his firm getting paid by the Tory government. If either of us is supposedly linked to the Worst Things in Canadian History, it sure as hell isn't me. But I love playing "Association."
If, as Catnip insists, we're going to discuss who and what people really are, I'm game.
Back in May, Kinsella misrepresented the definition of the phrase "tarbaby" when Pierre Poilievre used it in the House of Commons. The term is so allegedly inflammatory that Warren had to use it three times to describe Poilievre using it once. Just to prove his point, he had to throw in the infamous "n-word", which he's also used on television. So far as I'm aware, not even David Duke has done that.
Going from using the "n-word" to saying that "some people just don't like human rights" in less than seven minutes is a laudatory turn-around, even for you, Warren. Notice how I haven't used that word once? Yes, it actually can be done!
Then there was his culinary criticism of the Chinese community this past winter that I'll summarize thusly;
Of course, no history of shithead's blogging antics can be considered complete without making note of his penchant for linking to the American white supremacist website Stormfront repeatedly over the years, occasionally more than once in a single post.
I refuse to visit Stormfront because everything they represent is repugnant to me, so I don't know if they have advertising or not. If they do, they're likely sending Christmas cards to Warren for the business he sends them. In any event, he's giving them hits that they don't deserve. I haven't seen another major blog anywhere in the world send Stormfront traffic as frequently as warrenkinsella.com does. He might be their single most effective recruiting tool.
Remember how Warren nodded in the YouTube clip about the ability of the New York Times to describe things that are generally offensive, like the Muhammad cartoons, without actually showing them. Apparently, he can't do that with Stormfront. He really, really, really wants you to visit their hatemongering website.
Then there's Kathy. Warren can't mention her without listing her Top Ten most incendiary quotes, even though by his own definition, he's "spreading hate" contrary to the Canadian Human Rights Act. I'm not suggesting that Kathy Shaidle is a racist, but Kinsella does and sends her traffic and raises her profile higher than it otherwise would be.
If I'm such a bad guy, why is he quadrupling my hits? Well, I know why. He wants to build up my hits, spread around the alleged "libel" and sue later. Good luck with that. Even if you assume that I am libelling the dumb motherfucker, his linking to it spreads it in a way that presupposes that he isn't all that offended. After all, Tom Cruise didn't spend every day of his life talking about the gay porn star and German newspaper that said he was a homo, now did he? He just sued them. There are few things in the world that I'd enjoy more than battling someone who contributes to the supposed libel of himself.
I'll grant you that the Crown Prince of Chinatown's defense is that you never know how ugly something is until you're forced to see it, which is utter horseshit and he knows it. Has he ever had to expose his readers to, say, child pornography to make a point on that twisted phenomenon? Of course he hasn't. I think we all know that he wouldn't do that. But he will give you a tour through the tawdriest racism available on the Internet. Shit, I'm amazed that his banner picture isn't that old Darkie toothpaste ad from the Twenties.
So why does he put so much bile on the Internet? There are ways to express your disgust with things that you think shouldn't be shown without actually showing them, you know. I invite you all to go through everything I've ever written. I'll wager that I've presented less racist garbage in six years than Kinsella has in a given week.
It therefore seems to me that "exercising 'free speech'" isn't as much of a problem for me as it is for Warren Kinsella. I'm not the guy disseminating hatred toward minorities. Warren sadly can't say the same thing. His blog might be the single largest platform for doing that in the entire country.
All I wanted was for him to get stomach cancer. And I'm not delusional enough to think that I have the influence to direct stomach cancer to go anywhere. Even mesothelioma would be disgusted by that son of a bitch and all the hoping in the world isn't going to change that, even the extra-strength Barack Obama kind of Hope. Which is odd, since Warren effectively lobbies for the lung cancer business. Hating cigarettes is easy when you've got Big Chemical paying the bills.
If Kinsella wants to associate what I've written with the Conservative Party of Canada, which I haven't ever voted for, I'm okay with that. I've said over and over again that it really doesn't matter to me if they vanish from the earth tomorrow. All I ask is that the same standard be applied to everyone he associates himself with, both personally and professionally.
I repudiated the Conservative Party a long time ago, while Kinsella was taking money from the Conservative government. I just happen to think that they're better at winning elections than the Liberals are. Bad people win elections all the time. More often than not, Warren either works for ther campaigns or gets contracts from them. All I do is vote and comment.
But in the interest of fairness, do the Liberal Party, Michael Ignatieff, the employees of Daisy and its clients stand by the demonstrably racist statements that Warren Kinsella has put in the public realm? Statements, I would remind you, that he himself would like to see prosecuted by Human Rights Tribunals.
If I am to be tied to something that I have nothing at all to do with, questions should then be raised about the publicly-traded companies and taxpayer-funded political parties and government departments that he does business with. Those are fair questions if political parties that I challenge anyone to prove I have something to do with are supposed to answer for me.
Y'know, while we're discussing who and what people really are. Warren's right about one thing, "it's not so much the words as what it represents."
And for the record, I'd like to apologize to stomach cancer - a morally neutral life form that just does what it's supposed to do - for wishing it on Kinsella. Stomach cancer obviously deserves better and I regret sullying it the way that I did at Jay Currie's blog. I also hope that Jay accepts my apology for using his bandwidth to associate stomach cancer with something as evil, vile and reprehensible as Warren Kinsella.
Wow, sorry really doesn't seem to be the hardest word. And to think that Elton John has been lying to me all of these years.
Since I'm getting so many hits from him, I'd like to see Kinsella address any of the above mentioned points. But I know that he never will. I've answered his points, but I'll bet you anything that he doesn't address mine. Which should tell you all you need to know about who the "consummate coward and loser" is, what with the running back to the Liberals after stabbing them in back.
But that's how life is in the Winner's Circle.
I'm not a lawyer, but I'm intensely curious about one thing. Since Paul Martin is a former prime minister, is his defense against Kinsella's nonsense lawsuit funded by either the taxpayers or the taxpayer-funded Liberal Party? If it is and Boy Warren loses, which he almost certainly will, can Revenue Canada have him beheaded as I think they properly should?
I understand why I have to foot the bill for Kinsella v. Paradis, Conservative Party of Canada and Everyone Else Warren Doesn't Like. I actually hope they win and affirm that Kinsella is actually a disgrace to humanity in a court of law. I'm just sorry that the laws of civil procedure don't allow for hanging.
Although I never voted for him, I like Paul Martin and don't think that a former prime minister should be dragged through the courts simply because some disgruntled cocksucker of a hack wants to play Family Feud until the end of time. Therefore, if I'm paying Martin's bills - which I think that I probably should be as a taxpayer, just as I think that I should pick up Brian Mulroney's legal tab - I'm of the opinion that Paul Martin should be awarded the right to sell Warren Kinsella's children into slavery when he wins.
Would that make me a good Liberal or a bad one after I pay my ten bucks a year for a membership?
And Warren, one more thing. Please accuse me of fraud and/or identity theft in setting up my old website once more. Please, please, please, do it. You're not the only one with recorded conversations, and I'm sure that the hosting company, CheapCheap, has billing records, too. I don't happen to have a Pennsylvania bank account, as we'll all soon find out.
Don't make cute little insinuations that I committed an indictable offense, say it out loud.
Please give me a clear shot at ruining you forever. Accuse me of a crime, Warren. Just once. Let's get people under oath, you lying fuck. Sheppard v. Kinsella will be the shortest case in civil history. And I won't forget to file any paperwork, I'll categorically refuse to settle and the will be NO non-disclosure agreement.
My livelihood depends on my following the letter of the law, you scumbag. And I will go out of my way to destroy you in court if you interfere with that. If I have to, I'll write the complaint out in crayon and staple it to your fucking forehead myself. I can serve you at home or at work, Either is good with me and I have both addresses already,
Say it just once on your dopey blog. Just once. But don't be a fucking coward about it. Say it in language that everyone can understand. And let's see the correspendence you've had with my ex. Put it on your chucklehead blog, Warren.
At long last, let's see what you've got. Let's see who the "consummate coward" is once and for all.
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